Friends and Friendship

So I tried to get this blog post in last week but I ran out of time. . .college. But that's a legit excuse so, ha. ;)
I've had a lot of friends around Bob Jones ask me about what I'm going to be blogging about and I told them I'm probably going to come up with topics as I think about them, but I had a number of friends tell me to blog about friends. I kinda chuckled to humor some of them and then thought, That is a dumb idea. . . but the more I thought about it, the more I saw that this is something I could blog about so here we go!

What are friends? I know that's a dumb question, but think about it. The Webster dictionary defines friend as "one attached to another by affection or esteem." But that's not how we define friends among ourselves. We define someone as a friend who we know their name and a little about them. Guys tend to have friends for different areas of out lives. We have friends we eat with, friends that we play sports with, friends that we play video games with, and friends for every area of our lives. Girls are almost completely different, they have one group of friends and tend to do everything with the same group of friends. (Now granted, there are exceptions to everything so I'm not saying that this is true in everyone's case.) But how do we define our "best friend?" Generally someone who we confide with and do a lot of things with them. They've been our friend for a while, so we slap on the name, "best friend."

I'm going to do something bold here. I'm going to say a lot of our "friends" and "best friends" aren't really what we call them. Now don't get mad at me for reading that last sentence, read on. Let's be honest with ourselves. We have a lot of people who we do a lot of things with and that makes them legitly a friend, but I'm going to hit this level of friendship first. A lot of times we call people friends because they do something for us. They buy us something small, do a thoughtful action, or look out for us and those are all good things, but a friendship isn't one-sided. I've done a lot of observing through the years and a lot of people hang around "friends" (and forgive this analogy, I'm not trying to be mean, I promise) to be a tick. What does a tick do? It latches onto something and then gets what it can from whatever it latches onto and then gives nothing back. Now I'm not saying we're all like that, but I've seen enough of it to at least address it here. "Friendship" cannot be one-sided. . .if it is, it won't last very long at all. If this describes you, shame on your. Seriously.You won't have many friends for long.

Now the "best friend." We often say, "This is my best friend Alex. This is my best friend Frank. This is my best friend Lance." And if you have multiple best friends, that's cool, but are they really your best friend? I've seen a lot of people say, "This is my best friend. . ." and then they hardly interact and use each other for whatever they want. If you do that, that makes all your other friends just scratch their heads and go whaaaaaaaaaat??? My biggest caution to you would to be careful. Secondly, ask yourself, what makes your "best friend" your "best friend?" I am privileged to have a true best friend. Most of you know him, Tyler Daugherty. I'm going to brag on him for a couple minutes to show you what a true best friend is like:

 Tyler and I bonded through soccer. We ran together. . our . . .many. . .miles. . .no bitterness, I promise. We would talk, confide, and joke around with each other. Until he decided to tear his ACL and end his soccer season. . .idiot. So we stopped doing soccer together a lot and honestly, that branched us into a friendship who is now my best friend. Over the years, we have slept over at each others house, spent times confiding about almost every area of out life, we call each other and most importantly, we PRAY for each other. I cannot tell you how encouraging it is every time I get a text from him that says, "Hey man, is there anything I can pray for you?"or "Hey bro, been praying for you!" Tyler, of his own will, sacrifices for me in a lot of ways. He has bought me stuff that he has never needed to, he has spent his time with me as I talk to him about all my stupid problems, he is always there for me when I need him. The little things often mean more to me than the big things. He called me during a break of his Navy basic training on a pay phone and refused to let me go till he was done hearing everything that had happened to me this past semester and such. We talked forever and he kept on putting quarters into the phone to extend his time every now and then. He would give me the shirt off his back if I asked. But all of these aren't even the number one reason why he is my best friend. He is my best friend because he does his best to look out for my spiritual well being as well as he challenges me in my spiritual walk with the Lord like very few people have ever have. All of these make him the worlds best, best friend. Just going to throw that out there.

So by me showing you the example of my best friend, I hope this shows you how a best friend should be. Aim to be like Tyler. Be the "friendliest friend" you can be to your friends and best friend. Be someone who will pray for your friends, encourage them emotionally and spiritually as well as look out for their well-being without expecting anything in return. I once head a quote and I can't remember where it originated from but it goes like this: A man is lucky to have a friend. A man is luckier to be a friend. A man is luckiest to be a friend and to have a friend. Think about that. It's so true.

I'm going to end this post with a shout out. To all of you who are my friends. Thank you for being a good friend to me. I'm truly blessed with all the good friends God has given me.

Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."